I think once they do understand, I would always tell them they had a brother. He didn't ask me, 'Where is the baby?' because I don't think he understands. But when he sees my husband and I, when we cry, he tells us, 'Don't be sad, mommy' and it breaks my heart even more. MV: My daughter doesn't understand because she's like one-and-a-half. One day at a time.Į!: How did you talk to your kids about this? I do want to be done with it already, so I can kind of let go, in a way. I'm sure it's going to be a very tough day for us. It's very hard mentally to do it but we did it, me and my husband. We wanted to see him again to say goodbye. Maybe with the autopsy we'll get the closure, but as of now everything is a big question mark. I just don't know what happened, so that's the closure that I still don't have. I didn't have the chance to connect to him as much but it just kills me that he didn't get the love that I could've possibly given him, because I was ready. It's a very tough process to look at your baby basically dead. Meantime, we decided to do a burial to give him the respect that he deserves and a place for us to go and grieve. That can take 30 to 45 days, unfortunately. We sent the body to an autopsy and hopefully we will have some answers. I'm like, I don't even want to see the baby and get attached but then I'm like, you know what? It is my baby. I need to go to the hospital and deliver the baby.' I just went to the hospital and I went to a delivery, and unfortunately the outcome was not what I was anticipating.Į!: Do you want to talk a bit more about that? It was just a matter of like, 'I'm 38 weeks.

I did an ultrasound and they confirmed, unfortunately, that the baby died. Then, a few days later, I went to my regular gyno appointment and they couldn't find the heartbeat.

MV: Prior to my regular weekly checkup, I felt less movements and I went to a private ultrasound just to make sure there are heartbeats-and everything was fine. What happened when you went to the doctor and then thereafter? For me personally, it helps me with other women who experienced what I have and who intimately understand the pain-the painful situation-because no one prepares for something like that.Į!: I can't even imagine. When I Googled, I read a bunch of stories about other women who went through same situation that I'm in right now. When I had this experience, I realized that I'm not the only woman who had this experience. So, I knew at some point, I have to obviously share because I can't hide the fact that I didn't have a baby. Season five, which will come out in a couple of months, we filmed when I was very much pregnant. It was almost a joke that I'm always pregnant in the show. Maya Vander: It's something that obviously I didn't plan. Read on for more of E! News' interview with Maya.Į! News: Can you tell me why you felt like you wanted to talk about this experience? AI: Strike brings focus to emerging use of advanced tech

Maya selling sunset baby 2